FGM
ONE WOMAN AT A TIME
Leaving reality tv show The Real Housewives of Cheshire forced me to do some real soul searching about what it is I wanted to do? What made me happy? Doing reality tv was a huge learning curve for me and I grown so much during and after and still am.
I then began my journey of self transformation and working towards helping empower others.
Being in the show was not so empowering and towards the end I struggled mentally.
I reached out to my dear friend Jean Anderson who was one of my Hypnobirthing teachers for the birth of my 3rd daughter Lola, which was just the most beautiful experience.
Jean had travelled to Kenya with a grass roots charity and had learned of the barbaric practice FGM (female genital mutilation) Jean told me of her visits in Kenya and how she met a pokot tribes woman called
Margaret Lolimas.
Margaret was on her 7th pregnancy and the baby was transverse and was told to begin her long journey to the nearest hospital, first on foot for 30 kilometres in labour, then on the back of a motorcycle another 30 kilometres, by which time the uterus had ruptured.
Sadly when Margaret arrived at the hospital it was too late for the baby.
Jean returned to visit Margaret a few days later only to find she had acute sepsis and the wound had broken open. There was no drip, no oxygen and no treatment available, Margaret was in a lot of pain! Jean arranged transport to get to a city hospital where Margaret could get the care she needed.
Although Margaret died 3 weeks later her passing was one in comfort, pain free and clean sheets. This was a huge lesson for Jean how one does midwifery where there is no medical care or transport.
Leaving 6 children behind. Two of which were girls and would be next in line to be sold out to marriage and circumcised (FGM) this again is the norm. Daughters bring in a dowry for the family and is usually used to pay for the boy’s education or to buy a new wife for the children.
Again Jean stepped in and went to visit the father and vowed to pay for the eldest boy and 2 girls education to save them from this fate!
Absolutely gobsmacked on hearing this heartbreaking story which is one of many I immediately knew I wanted to help raise awareness for these girls and many alike!
Female Genital Mutilation is not just a problem in Africa is happens all round the world and is not a religious practice either it’s a deep rooted cultural practice and because of that sadly goes under the radar especially in the uk! There has only been one conviction for FGM in Scotland a few years ago which has been against the law since 1985, and was reinforced in 2003, then declared a serious crime act in 2015! Yet still only one conviction!
The very disturbing story of a little girl of 3 years old taken to hospital with the mothers claim she had climbed on the cupboard for biscuits and fell onto a door edge!
It took 2 years for conviction and the mother got sentenced to 13 years.
The problem with this practice is that it’s so conditioned into mothers and grandmothers that if a girl is not cut she is not clean and therefore will not be married. The fear of being ostracised from their community for not being cut is unfortunately more than that of the fear of the daughters wellbeing and mental health. FGM causes all kinds of problems.
As there is 3 stages of FGM of severity the worse being the inner labia removed and the outer labia is completely sewn up leaving a tiny hole for urine and menstruation. On intercourse on the wedding night the girl is cut open to allow this, becoming open to more infection.
The marriage of the girls in Pokot and marginalised areas is usually someone old enough to be their grandfather and happens around the age of 12-15 years old but can be younger and some girls in different parts of Africa can be as young as 3 when they are cut!
As a charity One Woman at a Time supports against FGM gender based violence and force’s marriage.
Having the opportunity to go to visit Kenya and meet the girls at the school we now sponsor was the most humbling experience of my life and one I will never forget, coming from a tv show that was about exploiting wealth to living in a house without running water or electricity really opened my eyes and made me so grateful for everything I have.
When wes got signed to an Indian team I invited Jean to come to Kerala with me and we discovered a refuge there that women and children were that had fled from abusive relationships, some of these women had been attacked with acid, beaten raped and some trafficked. India was a fascinating place the people are very welcoming, even though they some have so little.
It became very apparent that women were definitely seen as inferior to men and had more restrictions
put upon them.
I got to take my girls over there too, which was a wonderful learning experience for them too, being exposed to the real world not the bubble of Cheshire they had known.
The charity now sponsors 86 girls either through schooling education or nursing and further education training so they can provide for their families in this way gaining economic power over their lives instead of living a life of servitude to an older man with multiple wives being subject to excruciating labours when required. OWAAT has also provided training here in the uk for police and airport staff to raise awareness of any girls been taken out the country against their will! There is also training in schools which is funded by OWAAT to educate girls in the perils of forced marriage and how they can gain support from multiple agencies.
I began raising funds through various events the first being a skydive which I did on my last series of the show! What a rush that was!
Followed by the Empowerment Ball which I hosted for 2 years and in 2019 we walked the Great Wall of China for 6 days!! Being patron of the charity has been an incredible experience so far and I have grown and learned so much about the world, the struggles women face and myself! Thanks to my beautiful Jean!
My next fundraiser will be tough mudda ( dates to be confirmed ) so if you would like to get involved please come and join us or if you would like to donate or sponsor a girl to provide and education this would be wonderful too! All help is appreciated. thank you taking the time to read this. Sending love always soul fam!
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